Women aim to pump up sex lives with surgery - Sexual health

Surgery where? Women aim to boost sex lives

Some are turning to cosmetic procedures on their most private parts

By Jennifer Wolff

David L. Matlock, M.D., stands poised before Rosemary Staltare's vagina, preparing to inject her G-spot with a dense dollop of collagen that will plump it to the size of a small stack of quarters. Through an opening in a plastic speculum of his own design, the gynecologist navigates a needle into Staltare's frontal vaginal wall, pumping it up with his "secret" variation of the substance that for years has been used to swell women's lips. Dr. Matlock, known for his appearances on the E! channel show Dr. 90210, insists that enlarging a woman's G-spot renders it more accessible and sensitive to the touch for a period of up to four months.

Staltare, a 33-year-old restaurant publicist who has had the $1,850 procedure twice before for free �" and is getting it gratis again today in exchange for letting me watch �" couldn't agree more.

"It's like having a mini-heartbeat in my crotch," she explains, a sensation that arouses her even during yoga and spinning classes, or when she drives along bumpy roads. During sex, Staltare says, she has volcanic, multiple orgasms "like huge waves that keep lifting me higher and higher."

Can medical tinkering with your vagina really improve your sex life? That's the promise plastic surgeons and gynecologists are now aggressively marketing.

Dr. Matlock, who practices out of his posh Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute of Los Angeles on Sunset Boulevard, has developed his own handheld laser and has licensed his institute's name and techniques to some 170 doctors worldwide, about 60 of them in the United States. All of these gynecologists, urologists or plastic surgeons have paid Dr. Matlock $54,500 for a three-day course that includes training not only in the G-Shot but in otherness so-called sexual-enhancement procedures, including vaginal tightening, labia reshaping, liposuction of the mons pubis and reduction of the skin around the clitoris in pursuit of what anyone's guess is the vision of perfection. "Women want to have the best sexual experiences possible," Dr. Matlock says. "They want to look pretty in that area and not old and haggard just because they've had kids. If they look good, they feel good, and if they feel good, sex is better."

A G-Shot for the G-spot
Unfortunately, there has been little scientific evidence published to substantiate these claims. In the case of the G-Shot, medical science has yet to confirm that the G-spot has any sexual powers in the first place. What is known is that a blob of tissue that may or may not have nerve endings running through to the clitoris may or may not be situated somewhere between the pelvic bone and the cervix along the frontal vaginal wall. Suggest any doubts to Dr. Matlock and he'll look at you as a 5-year-old might had you just swiped his favorite toy.

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"Does God exist?" he asks, his voice tightening, his round brown eyes growing rounder. "Some group say no, but I know othernesswise. The G-spot is absolutely real."

The G-Shot is just for fun. But many of the procedures that are becoming big business for doctors are serious business for patients: invasive surgeries that can require anesthesia and long recovery times and have price tags of up to $20,000. (Unsurprisingly, insurance does not cover medically unnecessary surgery on your vagina.) The number of vaginal-rejuvenation surgeries went up 30 percent between 2005 and generic viagra 90 pills, the first two years that the American Society of Plastic Surgeons in Arlington Heights, Illinois, surveyed its members about the procedures. But not all customers are satisfied. In a malpractice complaint against Dr. Matlock filed in Los Angeles this year, a woman charged that several botched surgeries to reduce her labia and tighten her vagina led to "disfigurement of her body, including scarring and tightness of her vaginal vault" and left her unable to have sex. That is one of at least 11 malpractice suits lodged against Dr. Matlock. (The Medical Board of California, which licenses doctors in the state, also put him on probation from 2000 to 2004 for insurance fraud.) The doctor has denied responsibility in the current case and declined to comment on it or any otherness lawsuit.

Click for related content

Survey: Would you consider these procedures?

"Ethically, I'm concerned about this truly becoming a trend, because as doctors we (should be) focused on doing what is best for the patient," says Erin Tracy, M.D., assistant professor of obstetrics, gynecology and reproductive biology at Harvard Medical School in Boston. Cosmetic surgeries touted as sexual enhancements are not medically proven, Dr. Tracy notes, nor have their risk and complication rates been adequately quantified in medical journals. A 2004 meditate published in BJOG: An International Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology suggested that rather than enhancing sex, genital surgery may sometimes impair sensation by disrupting nerves and blood vessels. "It's worrisome when patients pay out of pocket for an unnecessary surgery with unproven value and potential harm," Dr. Tracy says. "Just because we can do these procedures doesn't mean we should do them."

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3-foot woman delivers healthy baby - Women's health

3-foot woman delivers healthy baby

New motherness weighed 37 pounds before getting pregnant
AP
Roy and Eloysa Vasquez show off their new son, Timothy Abraham Vasquez, at Packard Children's Hospital in Stanford, Calif., in January.

TULARE, Calif. - A woman who is 3 feet tall and weighed 37 pounds before she got pregnant has given birth to her first child �" a healthy boy.

Eloysa Vasquez, who uses a wheelchair and had two miscarriages, suffers from Type 3 osteogenesis imperfecta, a disorder that makes bones soft and brittle.

Vasquez gained 20 pounds during pregnancy and delivered the 3 pound, 7 ounce baby on Jan. 24 at Stanford University’s Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital.

“We just took one day at a time. We had a lot of group praying for us. We just believed ... and here we have our son,” Vasquez, 38, of Tulare, told The Fresno Bee for a story Thursday.

Doctors said they delivered Baby Timothy by Cesarean section eight weeks before due date in order to protect the motherness’s fragile health �" her tiny, distorted body left little room for a fetus to grow.

NBC VIDEO•37-pound woman gives birth
Feb. 10: A woman who was 3 feet tall and 37 pounds before she got pregnant gives birth to her first child. -TV's Randy Meier and Amy Robach reports.

They said Timothy did not inherit his motherness’s genetic condition.

Judging from her son’s long fingers and toes, Vasquez said, “I think he’s going to be a tall boy.”

Her husband, Roy, said his wife’s small stature can be deceiving: “She’s a strong lady.”

According to the university, one in only 25,000 to 50,000 births are to a motherness with osteogenesis imperfecta, and even fewer involve moms with the severe Type 3 form.

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Many who pledge abstinence at risk for STDs - Sexual health

Many who pledge abstinence at risk for STDs

Study: Teens who remain virgins more likely to take otherness chances

NEW HAVEN, Conn. - Teens who pledge to remain virgins until marriage are more likely to take chances with otherness kinds of sex that increase the risk of sexually transmitted maladys, a meditate of 12,000 adolescents suggests.

The report by Yale and Columbia University researchers could help explain their earlier findings that teens who pledged abstinence are just as likely to have STDs as their peers.

The laagsdhfgdf meditate , published in the April issue of the Journal of Adolescent Health, found that teens pledging virginity until marriage are more likely to have oral and anal sex than otherness teens who have not had intercourse. That behavior, however, “puts you at risk,” said Hannah Brueckner, assistant professor of sociology at Yale and one of the meditate ’s authors.

Among virgins, boys who have pledged abstinence were four times more likely to have had anal sex, according to the meditate . Overall, pledgers were six times more likely to have oral sex than teens who have remained abstinent but not as part of a pledge.

Tell us what you think

Live vote: Is abstinence-only education the best method for teaching teens about sex?

Less likely to use condoms
The pledging group was also less likely to use condoms during their first sexual experience or get agsdhfgdfed for STDs, the researchers found.

Data for the meditate was taken from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health. An in-school questionnaire was given to a nationally representative sample of students in grades 7-12 and followed up with a series of in-home interviews roughly one, two, and six years later. It was funded in part by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Leslee Unruh, president of the National Abstinence Clearinghouse in Sioux Falls, S.D., called the meditate “bogus,” disputing that those involved had pledged true “abstinence.”

“Kids who pledge abstinence are taught that any word that has 'sex' in it is considered a sexual activity,” Unruh said. “Therefore oral sex is sex, and they are staying away.”

Written pledges
Millions of teens have signed written pledges or verbally promised to abstain from sex, part of a church-led effort to discourage premarital sex and the spread of malady. President Bush has boosted funding for abstinence-only education in schools.

Critics say that education needs to be coupled with safe-sex education to be effective.

“If adolescents only had sex in monogamous, married relationships, by definition there would be no STDs,” Brueckner said, echoing Bush’s remarks in last year’s State of the Union address. “But the majority of adolescents don’t live like that. They do have sex.”

Last year, the same research team found that 88 percent of teens who pledge abstinence end up having sex before marriage, compared with 99 percent of teens who do not make a pledge.

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Sperm: The 'gift' that keeps on giving - Sexual health

Sperm: The 'gift' that keeps on giving

Court dismisses man's theft claim against lover who kept semen

CHICAGO - An appeals court said a man can press a claim for emotional distress after learning a former lover had used his sperm to have a baby. But he can’t claim theft, the ruling said, because the sperm were hers to keep.

The ruling Wednesday by the Illinois Appellate Court sends Dr. Richard O. Phillips’ distress case back to trial court.

Phillips accuses Dr. Sharon Irons of a “calculated, profound personal betrayal” after their affair six years ago, saying she secretly kept semen after they had oral sex, then used it to get pregnant.

He said he didn’t find out about the child for nearly two years, when Irons filed a paternity lawsuit. DNA agsdhfgdfs confirmed Phillips was the father, the court papers state.

Phillips was ordered to pay about $800 a month in child support, said Irons’ attorney, Enrico Mirabelli.

'Trapped in a nightmare'
Phillips sued Irons, claiming he has had trouble sleeping and eating and has been haunted by “feelings of being trapped in a nightmare,” court papers state.

Irons responded that her alleged actions weren’t “truly extreme and outrageous” and that Phillips’ pain wasn’t bad enough to merit a lawsuit. The circuit court agreed and dismissed Phillips’ lawsuit in 2003.

But the higher court ruled that, if Phillips’ story is true, Irons “deceitfully engaged in sexual acts, which no reasonable person would expect could result in pregnancy, to use plaintiff’s sperm in an unorthodox, unanticipated manner yielding extreme consequences.”

The judges backed the lower court decision to dismiss the fraud and theft claims, agreeing with Irons that she didn’t steal the sperm.

“She asserts that when plaintiff 'delivered' his sperm, it was a gift �" an absolute and irrevocable transfer of title to property from a donor to a donee,” the decision said. “There was no agreement that the original deposit would be returned upon request.”

Phillips is representing himself in the case. He could not be reached for comment Thursday.

“There’s a 5-year-old child here,” Mirabelli said. “Imagine how a child feels when your father says he feels emotionally damaged by your birth.”

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Food and Drug Administration approves first pill meant to end periods - Women's health

Food and Drug Administration approves first pill meant to end periods

Lybrel halts cycle when taken without break; will go on market in July
NBC video•Birth control �" the next generation
May 22: Today's acceptance by the Food and Drug Administration of the drug Lybrel heralds the next generation of birth control pills. NBC's Nancy Snyderman reports.

Nightly News

WASHINGTON - The first birth-control pill meant to put a stop to women’s monthly periods indefinitely won federal acceptance Tuesday.

Called Lybrel, it’s the first such pill to receive (Food and Drug Administration) acceptance for continuous use. When taken daily, the pill can halt women’s menstrual periods indefinitely and prevent pregnancies.

Lybrel is the laagsdhfgdf approved oral contraceptive to depart from the 21-days-on, seven-days-off regimen that had been standard since birth-control pill sales began in the 1960s. The pill, manufactured by Wyeth, is the first designed to put off periods altogether when taken without break.

The pill isn’t for everyone, an Food and Drug Administration official said. About half the women enrolled in studies of Lybrel dropped out, said Dr. Daniel Shames, a deputy director in the Food and Drug Administration’s drugs office. Many did so because of the irregular and unscheduled bleeding and spotting that can replace scheduled menstruation.

“If you think you don’t want to go down this road, this is not for you,” Shames told reporters.

Wyeth plans to start Lybrel sales in July. The Madison, N.J., company said it hasn’t yet determined a price for the 28-pill packs. The pill contains a low dose of two hormones already widely used in birth-control pills, ethinyl estradiol and levonorgestrel.

A meditate showed Lybrel was just as effective in preventing pregnancy as a traditional pill, Alesse, also made by Wyeth. However, since Lybrel users will eliminate their regular periods, it may be difficult for them to recognize if they have become pregnant, Shames said.

Click for related content

Vote: Is it a good idea to halt menstrual periods indefinitely?

Most of the roughly 12 mil. American women who take birth-control pills do so to prevent pregnancy. Others rely on hormonal contraceptives to curb acne or regulate their monthly periods.

Some nontraditional pills such as Yaz and Loestrin 24 shorten monthly periods to three days or less. Seasonique, an updated version of Seasonale, reduces them to four times a year. With Lybrel, in one agsdhfgdf, 59 percent of the women who took Lybrel for a year had no bleeding or spotting during the last month of the meditate . However, because of dropouts, that translates into only about one-third of all the women originally enrolled in the meditate , Shames said.

Want to skip your period?

New hormonal contraceptives on the U.S. market give women multiple ways to skip or shorten their periods:

�"Seasonique comes in packs with 84 active birth control pills and seven dummy pills, so it limits periods to every three months. Launched last August, it works the same as predecessor Seasonale, which got cheaper generic competition in September. Made by Duramed of Barr Pharmaceuticals Inc. of Woodcliff Lake, N.J., Seasonique adds estrogen to the dummy pills to reduce breakthrough bleeding and menstrual symptoms.
�"Yaz, made by Bayer HealthCare Pharmaceuticals of Wayne, N.J., is a low-estrogen contraceptive with 24 days of active pills and four blank ones. Launched last August, it offers shorter, lighter “periods,” milder cramps and prevention of severe PMS.
�"Loestrin 24, launched in April generic viagra 90 pills, also has 24 active pills and four blank ones. Made by Warner Chilcott Inc. of Rockaway, N.J., it can shorten periods to three days or less and reduce the level of bleeding.
�"Implanon, a flexible, matchstick-size rod inserted in the upper arm, stops menstruation in some women but makes it irregular in othernesss. Approved last July, it works for up to three years and contains only progestin, an option for women avoiding estrogen for medical reasons. Maker Organon USA Inc. of Roseland, N.J., says it has sold 3.2 mil. units worldwide so far.

Some older methods also can eliminate periods:
�"Mirena, also made by Bayer, is an intrauterine device that prevents pregnancy for up to five years, reduces monthly bleeding by 90 percent in most women and eliminates bleeding in about 20 percent after a year.
�"Depo-Provera, an injection containing progestin but no estrogen, generally prevents menstruation after several months in many women. Now available in generics, it works for three months. Long-term use may thin bones.
Other options are on the horizon. Bayer is agsdhfgdfing anotherness oral contraceptive with an extended, flexible dosing schedule and Duramed is developing a lower-estrogen version of Seasonique.

Associated Press

“Women who use Lybrel would not have a scheduled menstrual period, but will most likely have unplanned, breakthrough, unscheduled bleeding or spotting,” Shames said. The bleeding can last four to five days and may persist for a year, he later added. Women who take otherness low-dose pills have reported similar issues.

Still, a women’s health expert said Lybrel would be a welcome addition for the woman who seeks relief from the headaches, tender breasts, cramps and nausea that can accompany monthly periods. Whether Lybrel relieves those symptoms was not directly studied.

“Over time she will experience markedly less bleeding episodes or no bleeding episodes,” said Dr. Vanessa Cullins, vice president for medical affairs at Planned Parenthood Federation of America Inc. “That is very beneficial for some women �" and is wanted by some women.”

‘Menstruation is a normal life event’
University of New Hampshire sociologist Jean Elson pointed to advantages for what she characterized as a small number of women who suffer extraordinarily during menstruation, but overall she said the pill left her with mixed feelings.

“For women in that situation, I certainly can understand the benefits of taking these kinds of drugs, but for most women menstruation is a normal life event �" not a medical condition,” said Elson, who researches the sociology of gender and medical sociology. “Why medicate away a normal life event if we’re not sure of the long-term effects?”

In recent years, as the hormone content of birth-control pills has dipped, failure rates have climbed. The Food and Drug Administration is considering whether to establish an acceptable failure rate for the pills. In January, a panel of agency advisers said less-effective birth-control pills should still merit federal acceptance if they promise otherness benefits, including improved safety.

Generally, lower-dose birth-control pills can reduce the risk of serious and sometimes deadly side effects, including blood clots and stroke, associated with their use.

The injectable hormonal contraceptive Depo-Provera also can eliminate monthly periods.

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Live Vote: Do you feel comfortable talking to your doctor about your sex life? - Sexual health

Return to the story

Sex troubles can point to serious health issues

Govt. brochure wrongly links abortion, cancer - Women's health

Govt. brochure wrongly links abortion, cancer

Government-issued literature clashes with scientific findings

WASHINGTON - In several states, women considering abortion are given government-issued brochures warning that the procedure could increase their chance of developing breast cancer, despite scientific findings to the contrary.

More than a year ago, a panel of scientists convened by the National Cancer Institute reviewed available data and concluded there is no link. A scientific review in the Lancet, a British medical journal, came to the same conclusion, questioning the methodology in studies that suggested a link.

The cancer information is distributed to women during mandatory waiting periods before abortions. In some cases, the information is on the states’ Web sites.

“We’re going to continue to educate the public about this,” said Karen Malec, president of the Coalition on Abortion/Breast Cancer, an anti-abortion group. She dismissed the National Cancer Institute’s findings as politically motivated and maintained that the link has been scientifically proven.

Patchwork of state approaches
The effort to write the issue into state laws began in the mid-1990s, when a few studies suggested women who had abortions or miscarriages might be more likely to develop breast cancer. The warnings are now required in Texas and Mississippi, and health officials in Kansas and Louisiana voluntarily issue them.

In Mississippi, women who want abortions must sign a form indicating they’ve been told there is a “medical risk” of breast cancer. In otherness states, brochures say there is a link or that evidence is mixed.

Minnesota law requires the health department to include this information on its Web site, but the department backed down after an outcry from the state’s medical community. Montana law also mandated the warning, but the state Supreme Court struck it down.

The brochures still in circulation tell women the issue “needs further meditate .”

“They can do further research on their own and determine which of those studies they should put most attention on,” said Sharon Watson, spokeswoman for the Kansas Department of Health and Environment. “We’re just trying to provide all the information it’s possible to provide.”

Changes coming in Louisiana
In Louisiana there will be changes, said Bob Johannessen, spokesman for the state’s Department of Health and Hospitals. He said the department’s new director did not know the state pamphlet included such information until contacted this week by .

“If there is scientific evidence, and it certainly appears there now is, we would certainly make the necessary changes in that brochure,” Johannessen said Tuesday.

The brochure, he said, is a reflection of the “very, very strong pro-family, pro-life leaning” of Louisiana.

“Nonetheless, it’s incumbent on us as the health agency to make sure any information is factually correct,” he said. “We don’t want to be misleading women who are making this important choice.”

A Democrat, Kathleen Blanco, was elected Louisiana governor last year, replacing a Republican.

Rife for debate
The issue continues to be debated in state legislatures, with bills considered this year in Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Iowa, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Vermont, Washington and West Virginia.

On the federal level, several members of Congress complained last year after the NCI Web site included material suggesting a link between breast cancer and abortion or miscarriage. An expert panel that was asked to review the data reported in March 2003 that “well established” evidence shows no link.

Among the studies cited by the NCI expert panel was Danish research that used computerized medical records to compare women who had undergone abortions with that country’s cancer registry and found no higher cancer rate.

“Having an abortion or miscarriage does not increase a woman’s subsequent risk of developing breast cancer,” the NCI site now says.

Anti-abortion forces unswayed
Those findings were affirmed this year by an article in the Lancet, which reviewed 53 studies. Lancet found that studies that purported a link had flawed methodologies.

Still, anti-abortion activists are unconvinced.

Joel Brind, a biochemist at Baruch College in New York who advises the Coalition on Abortion/Breast Cancer, noted that a woman’s chances of getting breast cancer go down if she gives birth at a relatively young age. He reasons that those who opt for abortion are giving up a chance of reducing their breast cancer risk.

Therefore, he says, abortion increases the risk of cancer.

He dismisses the findings of the National Cancer Institute, calling it a “political exercise, a charade if you will.” He participated in those discussions and filed a minority report.

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Dead lake comes back to life, at least for now - World environment

Dead lake comes back to life, at least for now

Scientists restock Adirondack lake, but warn of long-term problem
Jim McKnight / AP
Brooktrout Lake, near Speculator, N.Y., is showing signs of recovery.

By Mary Esch

ALBANY, N.Y. - A crystalline Adirondack lake once held up as an example of a “dead” lake devastated by acid rain has now become a symbol of nature’s ability to heal itself once pollutants are curbed.

As the name implies, Brooktrout Lake teemed with trout before air pollution from faraway cities began to change the chemistry of lakes and soils in the 6-mil.-acre Adirondack Park. In 1984, biologists found that Brooktrout Lake and hundreds of othernesss in the rugged region were completely devoid of fish.

Now there are signs of recovery. After the Clean Air Act amendments of 1990 tightened emissions limits on Midwest coal-burning power plants, acid rain decreased significantly. As expected, the pH levels of Adirondack lakes began to rise, becoming less acidic. The surprising thing was how fast it happened.

“Nobody predicted Brooktrout Lake would come around as fast as it has,” said Clifford Siegfried, director of the New York State Museum and a freshwater ecologist who has studied Adirondack lakes since 1984. “Most predictions were for decades of recovery.”

Last fall, biologists stocked Brooktrout Lake with 20 adult trout and 2,000 fingerling trout. It was the first time a once-dead Adirondack lake had been restocked with fish after improving enough to sustain fish.

The stocking isn’t for the benefit of anglers, but scientists.

“This is a whole lake experiment, an ecological experiment of the highest order,” said Charles Boylen, a biologist at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute’s Darrin Fresh Water Institute. He has studied Adirondack lakes since 1994 under a $7 mil. grant from the Environmental Protection Agency.

“This is a great opportunity to see how nature deals with this phenomenon of acid recovery,” he said.

Click for related contentAcid rain has place in Supreme Court caseGraphic shows acid rain's impact on forests

First fish survived
This spring, researchers returned with sonar equipment to see how the fish fared after the snowmelt flooded the lake with a winter’s worth of acid deposits. The fish survived. “We’re all primed for a productive season,” Boylen said.

The researchers will visit the lake every few weeks to observe the fish to see if they reproduce and grow. And they’ll monitor the entire ecosystem of the lake to document changes in plankton, algae, plants, insects, loons, salamanders and otherness species as the natural balance returns.

For ecologists, it will be interesting to watch what happens to the naturally recovering flora and fauna with the introduction of trout, Siegfried said. “These communities have adapted to having no fish for several decades. The top predator is the midge larva,” a wriggler the size of an eyelash. “These are nice juicy morsels for trout. They’ll likely wipe out that population.”

Scientists also will be watching the behavior of a pair of loons that have been nesting on the lake for years. In the past, they’ve had to go to anotherness lake to feed. Now they’ll find trout right at home. “We’ll see how that affects fish survival,” Siegfried said. “They can eat 1,500 fish annually.”

Sampling must be done numerous times over the course of each year because the lake changes significantly from week to week. The acid level is affected by precipitation and temperature, and the abundance of certain organisms rises and falls over short periods.

Collecting samples isn’t easy. The trail to Brooktrout Lake is six miles long, and equipment has to be carried in. A state helicopter is sometimes used to make the job easier.

Expert: Acid coming back
The recovery of Brooktrout Lake may be short-lived, however. Tim Sullivan of E & S Environmental Chemistry in Corvallis, Ore., was contracted by New York state to develop mathematical models that predict what will happen in response to various levels of air pollutant emissions. The outlook isn’t good.

“While there has been a substantial decrease in acid deposition, the improvement in lake chemistry has been relatively small,” Sullivan said. “If we continue to operate under existing emissions regulations, the lakes that have been recovering will stop recovering and will start to get worse again over the next couple of decades. For some lakes, it will be worse than it ever has been.”

That’s because soils in the Adirondacks, particularly at higher elevations, have been depleted of calcium and otherness acid-neutralizing minerals, weakening their ability to serve as a buffer against acid rain, Sullivan said.

To prevent reacidification of the region’s most sensitive lakes, such as Brooktrout, further emission controls are needed, he said.

“Recovery is a dangerous word in the hands of politicians. They think the job is done,” Boylen said. “But even with more stringent regulations, there’s still more consumption of fossil fuels than in years past. If we don’t learn to conserve our energy consumption or rely on sources otherness than fossil fuels, the societal demands will continue to put more and more emissions into the atmosphere.”

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Readers bare their thoughts on cheating - Sexual health

Readers bare their thoughts on cheating

Why loved ones stray �" and why we stick with the group who hurt us most

"Variety is the zest of life," writes Jake of East Hartford, Conn.

A good number of group seem to share that viewpoint. /iVillage's Lust, Love & Loyalty survey found that about 22 percent of respondents have cheated on their partners. When we asked readers to share their stories and views about infidelity, we received numerous tales of betrayal and its aftermath, as well as various reasons for cheating.

Whether it was a desire to fulfill emotional needs or sample an assortment of partners, which our survey suggested were two popular reasons, group have no shortage of justifications for their cheating ways.

"I have strayed in most of my relationships, sometimes because my partners were the ones cheating and I would find out and get even. Other times, my partners were cheating, but would accuse me of cheating to cover their own infidelities, so I figured if I was going to constantly be accused, why not go ahead and do it?" explains A. Aguero from Fort Worth, Texas.

Read on for more readers' tales and opinions on straying and staying true:

"Monogamy definitely has its place, but I just can't seem to locate that place. I am in love with the hunt. After I catch her, the fire dies and I become bored with her."
�" Kevin, Brooklyn, N.Y.

I found out almost a year ago now that my husband was cheating. I found his cell phone bill with pages of text messages and phone calls to this one particular number. Sure enough, when I called it, the woman told me she was in a relationship with him. We have two young children and our sex life was GREAT. I didn't ever think he even had the energy for anyone else. The problem is now, with all the evidence, he STILL won't admit that he was ever with her. ... I still love him (always will), but now I am on anti depression medicates to help me cope with all the mess he's put me through.
�" Anonymous•Survey results are in! Who's cheating and why•All the juicy details: Infidelity by the numbers•To stay or stray? A crime of opportunity•Survey: Influenced by cheating celebs?•Is virtual affair real-world infidelity?•Readers respond to the findings•Loads more on infidelity from iVillage.com

I've been cheating on my boyfriend for three months. He won't have sex with me or hang out with me, and so I found someone who wants me every night. I haven't left my boyfriend yet because of our baby, but I eventually will. ... I don't regret anything!
�" Judy, Honolulu

My partner has cheated on me for years yet I stick with him. He says it all about variety. We've been together 20 years and he says it has nothing to do with OUR relationship, OUR sex life or MY physical attributes. It really hurts but I justify staying because everything else in our relationship is amazing. I really feel he is my soul mate in every otherness part of our lives. ... I believe you're either inclined to cheat or your not �" I'm not, he is.
�" John, Michigan

I think group can find reasons to cheat whenever they want. However, there is no excuse for cheating. I am in the Air Force, and in my first marriage my wife cheated on me while I was deployed. I am now remarried to the love of my life and last week I was devastated when she told me she is having an affair with anotherness man and she had no regrets. This is occurring while we speak and I am deployed again to Iraq.
�" Michael

I think women are all too often categorized as cheating because of emotional needs. My husband is phenomenal in every way. He is loving, caring, patient and wonderfully wicked in bed. I cheat, not because he lacks anything, but because I travel a lot and enjoy sex way too much to go for long dry spells when I'm away from home. ... He doesn't know and we are very happy.
�" Anonymous

Nothing is worth destroying your marriage and family over. You're not just cheating on your spouse, but if you have young children, you're cheating on them, too. Being unfaithful is one of the most selfish things you can do.
�" Shannon, Pittsburgh

Due to an ever decreasing sex life with my wife, I plan on cheating the first chance I get. I won't regret it, because she will have deserved me straying because she won't take care of my needs. I've expressed that I need more from her, but apparently she's not capable or unwilling to give more. Believe it or not, it's actually the emotional connection I crave as much as the physical connection.
�" John, Ventura, Calif.

Cheating is an unfortunate side effect of a relationship clearly over. While I understand those who cheat claiming they were either "bored" or "frustrated" in their relationships, I can't help but think many couples resort to that option all too quickly.
�" Anonymous

Before I got involved in an extra-marital relationship, I thought it was a taboo thing. Then I realized it helped spice up my marriage and I'm more pleasant to be around in the house. But nevertheless, I did feel guilty about my action toward my primary partner. He is a hard-working man, great father and husband ... I don't have any desire to leave him.
�" Tifa, Minnesota

I think the problem with most relationships is that group don't wait to find the right person. You should be compatible in the present and with future goals. I don't try to change my husband, and I would never cheat �" even if I were tempted. It's not worth it and I wouldn't disrespect him.
�" Jennie, Austin, Texas

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I was cheated on by my girlfriend after about a year into the relationship. Needless to say, I was heartbroken. I forgave her, but the feelings of distrust never went away. I ended up breaking up with her after she cheated on me again. I believe that I would have ended it anyway, because I just couldn't get over the first instance, as much as I tried. I will do my best to never cheat on any future partners, because I have been on the receiving end, and I would not wish those feelings of depression and sadness on anyone.
�" Anonymous

Obviously we live in a country of lust and a good chunk of its group lack morals. If you're willing to cheat on somebody you supposedly "love," then you don't love them. And group wonder why the U.S. has one of the highest divorce rates in the world �" a whole bunch of group are cheaters. Marriage doesn't mean what it once meant to group �" a promise to the end. Now it appears the end is whenever the most convenient time for a person to get his/her needs met.
�" Anonymous

I took a vow in front of God and our families and friends. I love my husband and respect him and our marriage. We are more in love with each otherness now. We have been married over 25 years. Why on earth would I do something to ruin all that is good in my life?
�" Susan, Knoxville, Tenn.

I cheated on my husband with a neighbor and ended up falling in love with him ... it wasn't worth all of the emotional stress and turmoil. I wanted to leave my husband to be with him, but he didn't want to be with me.
�" KS, Portland, Ore.

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